Fisting: Ultimate Guide (What it is and How To Try It)

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People can be squeamish about putting big things inside of their vaginas or anuses, and rightfully so. The idea of putting a giant dildo or large penis, or even an entire fist inside of you can be intimidating. Fisting, in particular, seems to be shrouded in a unique kind of taboo, which is unfortunate and shameful. 

If people knew more about the practice, more people would be able to enjoy it!

If the idea of anal or vaginal fisting is intriguing to you, there’s no reason to let fear or sex-negativity stop you from trying it out. You just need to learn exactly what it entails and how to prepare for it. We can tell you, there is lots of lube involved!

What is Fisting?

Fisting refers to an entire hand being inserted into an orifice. While often associated with vaginas, anal fisting can be done as well, which requires a lot of extra lube and prep. 

Fisting tends to be viewed as a more extreme sexual practice by some, but can be common in other communities. While sex positive people in general are non-judgmental about fisting, it tends to be more commonly celebrated in queer circles.

What Does Fisting Feel Like?

When done properly, fisting can feel really good. Fisting gives a feeling of fullness that is difficult to achieve otherwise. With the entire hand inside a hole, you can have far more tissue stimulated at the same time. Lots of people like the psychological experience of being stretched open.

Plus, fisting can be an incredibly intimate experience for both partners. Seeing your whole hand inside of your partner, and feeling the heat and strength of their body from the inside, is something many people enjoy. 

This is a form of penetration that allows for eye contact if wanted, and which allows the giver to be fully present in the receiver’s pleasure.

Why does fisting freak some people out?

Unfortunately, many people have been taught by society that vaginas can stretch and become loose if too many things (or too large of things) are put into them. This has led to the sex-negative, misogynistic notion of loose women (a.k.a. “women who are easy and have sex often,” as Urban Dictionary put it).

The good news is that this problematic conclusion is not only false, but it’s based on a myth: Vaginal tissue is meant to stretch and return to its regular shape and size (for the most part), since it’s designed to aid in childbirth, according to an Ob/Gyn interviewed by Glamour magazine.

So, as long as you’re being mindful of your body and using proper preparation and enough lube, you can enjoy fisting, and your vagina will bounce right back. 

As for the sex negativity and sexism that feeds into the bias against fisting? That will likely take time to fix, but studies suggest that society is only becoming more accepting of a wider range of sexual behavior each year, so take that for what it’s worth.

Fisting Precautions 

fisting guide

Safe fisting requires patience, practice, communication, and, yes, plenty of lube

No matter your gender or the hole you’re fisting, be sure to go slower than you think you need to, and use more lube than you think you need. Thicker, silicone-based lubes tend to work best, as water-based lubes can be sticky.

Pro Tip: Do not use lube with a numbing agent your first time. While this may be something you feel would help, it’s actually dangerous. With numbing, you can’t feel everything that’s going on with your body and will be tempted to push yourself further than you’re ready for.

Using latex gloves can also make fisting easier, since they prevent lube from absorbing into the skin of the fister’s hand and help it slide in smoother. They can be sexy, too, since they’re available in multiple colors.

What About Your Nails?

Hangnails, chipped nail polish, finger calluses, and jagged edges can all cause little abrasions and micro-tears in the vaginal or anal skin that no one wants.

So make sure your hands are super-duper well manicured before going in!

If you have longer nails and don’t want to cut them, put cotton balls under your nails and then wear a latex or nitrile glove. This will help buffer them.

How to Get Started 

If you and your partner are both into trying fisting, try starting with one finger and work your way up. It can be helpful for the receiving partner to take deep breaths as they’re being fisted.

If the receiving partner experiences discomfort at any point, step back and pause. There’s no need to rush into it.

Be sure to communicate exactly how you’re feeling so your partner knows when it’s time to stop or slow down.

After warming up the orifice by starting with one finger and adding more, you can move into fisting by having the giving partner create a duck shape with their fingers (meaning: fingers are straight and pressed together, like a duck’s beak) to slide the hand in. 

They should move slowly and in conjunction with the receiving partner’s breaths, and if the orifice is ready and willing, they can create an actual fist with their hand (by closing the “duck’s mouth”) and thrust the hand in and out at a more rapid pace. Again, maintain communication to make sure you’re both comfortable the entire time.

Removing the fist completely can get dicier than the initial insertion. Rather than taking deep breaths, try coughing during the fist removal. This will cause the muscles to help push the fist out of your body. 

Removal is the time that is most likely to injure the fistee, so coughing helps their body work with you, rather than against you. Remember, the orgasm has likely passed, so pleasure isn’t in the mix any longer.

Aftercare

Not only can fisting be a particularly vulnerable experience — it is considered “taboo,” after all — so engaging in it can bring up some feelings.

Beyond that, just like your leg muscles may be sore after you work them, your vaginal muscles may be, too.

The fister taking care of the fistee by holding them, bringing them water, applying lube for extra hydration afterwards; however asked is a must.

Can you enjoy fisting without a partner?

It’s possible. But admittedly: It’s trickier.

There are fist-shaped sex toys. But, we don’t recommend them for fisting beginners. The fingers aren’t as malleable as a human hand, which means you lose the ability to contort your hand into the perfect shape.

Instead, try fingering yourself with several of your own fingers to help your vagina adjust to the sensation of girthier penetration.

From there, you can eventually graduate to a toy that’s larger.

Depending on your mobility, flexibility, and arm length, you might even be able to fist yourself using your own hand (and again, lots of lube).

Bottom Line

Fisting, like any sex act you want to try, is all about pleasure. As long as you’re being safe and it feels good, do it!